Caden and I have a ritual. When he awakes in the morning, I go and scoop him up out of his crib and bring him to my bed to feed him. We cuddle while he is happily slurping away, and we usually fall asleep together for another hour or so. When he is so close to me I bury my face in her hair. I inhale. Deeply.....
My son's hair smells sweet and earthy . . .like play. Or, innocence. Or, heaven.
Lord, please, don't let me ever forget that smell.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Monday, September 24, 2007
Sunday, September 9, 2007
I Am Seriously Not Well
Little man,
It is 10:29 pm and I am about to be sick. I was having a late night bowl of cereal, and decided to Google “television watching and brain development”. My poor, poor critter. I am so sorry that I am guilty of letting you watch a few Gilmore Girls episodes or random shows at times with me from that idiot box. In a nutshell, television watching in the infant and toddler set contributes to the development of ADHD. Nausea.
I’m sorry, little butterbean. You have watched some t.v. in your day. And the worst part is that I had my suspicions about the effects it might be having on your brain, and continued to do it thinking that was just one of my paranoias and now I may have done irreparable harm to you.
So I called a friend to tell her that I've likely damaged you and that the television is a goner. She was very sweet to me. She kept repeating that I have not messed you up, which I needed to hear. She said that given my family’s history, there is a good chance you will have ADHD anyway. Ha Ha! :)This was not quite as helpful..... :) but probably true. To me that is all the more reason to cease and desist any and all t.v. watching right now. I wound up talking about how this is likely the first of many feelings of terror that I've screwed you up.
I cried. It scared the bejesus out of me, love. I’m trying to be graceful in my recovery, but I’m still not sure I haven’t messed up your hardwiring.
Goodnight my love, and please no ADHD......
Love, Mommy
It is 10:29 pm and I am about to be sick. I was having a late night bowl of cereal, and decided to Google “television watching and brain development”. My poor, poor critter. I am so sorry that I am guilty of letting you watch a few Gilmore Girls episodes or random shows at times with me from that idiot box. In a nutshell, television watching in the infant and toddler set contributes to the development of ADHD. Nausea.
I’m sorry, little butterbean. You have watched some t.v. in your day. And the worst part is that I had my suspicions about the effects it might be having on your brain, and continued to do it thinking that was just one of my paranoias and now I may have done irreparable harm to you.
So I called a friend to tell her that I've likely damaged you and that the television is a goner. She was very sweet to me. She kept repeating that I have not messed you up, which I needed to hear. She said that given my family’s history, there is a good chance you will have ADHD anyway. Ha Ha! :)This was not quite as helpful..... :) but probably true. To me that is all the more reason to cease and desist any and all t.v. watching right now. I wound up talking about how this is likely the first of many feelings of terror that I've screwed you up.
I cried. It scared the bejesus out of me, love. I’m trying to be graceful in my recovery, but I’m still not sure I haven’t messed up your hardwiring.
Goodnight my love, and please no ADHD......
Love, Mommy
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