Sunday, September 9, 2007

I Am Seriously Not Well

Little man,
It is 10:29 pm and I am about to be sick. I was having a late night bowl of cereal, and decided to Google “television watching and brain development”. My poor, poor critter. I am so sorry that I am guilty of letting you watch a few Gilmore Girls episodes or random shows at times with me from that idiot box. In a nutshell, television watching in the infant and toddler set contributes to the development of ADHD. Nausea.

I’m sorry, little butterbean. You have watched some t.v. in your day. And the worst part is that I had my suspicions about the effects it might be having on your brain, and continued to do it thinking that was just one of my paranoias and now I may have done irreparable harm to you.

So I called a friend to tell her that I've likely damaged you and that the television is a goner. She was very sweet to me. She kept repeating that I have not messed you up, which I needed to hear. She said that given my family’s history, there is a good chance you will have ADHD anyway. Ha Ha! :)This was not quite as helpful..... :) but probably true. To me that is all the more reason to cease and desist any and all t.v. watching right now. I wound up talking about how this is likely the first of many feelings of terror that I've screwed you up.
I cried. It scared the bejesus out of me, love. I’m trying to be graceful in my recovery, but I’m still not sure I haven’t messed up your hardwiring.

Goodnight my love, and please no ADHD......

Love, Mommy

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