Friday, February 29, 2008

Caden's Hands

This week Caden has been struggling with a cold. He was having trouble sleeping today so I had the wonderful pleasure of rocking him for a long, long time until he was ready to sleep. We sat there in the dark of his room, him clutching his "blankie" with one hand, and caressing my hair with the other, his slow, even breaths a little raspy from his cold. It was a moment I'll never forget....Just a calmness and a sureness of each other.

Caden's hands. They are plump little things...dimpled, smooth and perfect. I've always been fascinated by his little dimples, but today as I looked at Cadens, I was overwhelmed with wonder, and a little sadness, to think of where those hands will travel. Today they are flawless little hands, unmarred by life's challenges and inexperienced in its joys. But where will those little hands go tomorrow, and the next day, and the next?...

Any day now those little hands are about to let go of mine as he takes his first step.

They will grasp a pencil as he clumsily learns to write.

They will surely get some scrapes and scratches just being "a boy."

They will grip handlebars with a mix of joy and fear as he attempts to ride on his own.

They will dig and play in the mud and build lots of fun sandcastles.

In his teenage years those hands may wipe away a few adolescent tears and possibly slam a few doors, but maybe, if I play my cards right, they will still reach out for mine every now and then.

They will pack his belongings as he leaves home, And they will open the front door again as he comes back to visit. A WHOLE LOT if he knows what's good for him. :)

I pray those precious hands spend more time spread open in joy, rather than clenched in anguish. But wherever the journey, I hope they're often clasped in prayer. I hope they are helpful hands, and I hope they always have many, many other hands to grab onto.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

NO Shame :)

Hello my little guy...

OK, so its been ENTIRELY too long since I've written. I HATE when I'm not writing to just makes me feel icky! :) This past week has just been a whirlwind and I literally have not had TWO extra minutes to do a thing for myself, or get on this computer for any type of pleasure writing. I've written several contracts this past couple weeks though, so that's AWESOME! On top of all that "busyness" we have been sick and it's not been fun. We've definitely had our fair share of runny noses, sneezing, blowing our noses, and coughing this past couple weeks. I am simply exhausted. I don't even know how I'm writing this right now as I have a fever even as I type....I just don't want to get too far behind with all that I want to write about you.

So I was going to the restroom the other morning, with you holding on to my legs talking to me and I just how things have changed! So much for any amount of privacy I was ever used to! I've even had to keep the door open in a public restroom cause I couldn't get your stroller in the stall and I wanted to be able to see you. Talk about no shame!:) Speaking of public restrooms, I never knew they would be so difficult at times trying to juggle a little one. Seriously....I never imagined that with a baby in my arms I'd be able to use my foot to do everything except wipe! Sometimes I don't know how I get it all done without you ending up on the floor peeking out under the stall waving at others. That day may come..... GOD I hope not! :) And don't even get me started on the bathrooms that don't have baby changing stations!!! Oooooo that makes me mad!

You, my child, are hilarious. You just don't sit still for two seconds...just walking or crawling around looking for something that you can either open or close, or a cabinet or drawer that you can completely empty out. You have these toy bins filled with toys and you will literally go over and take every last toy out one by one. You don't even look at them, you just toss over your shoulder. Same with your mommy's nightstand drawer and the kitchen Tupperware cabinet. Empty, empty, empty...that's what your mind is saying it seems...... So cute. Here is a picture of your new toy bin.

You are so close to walking all on your own. You'll hold on to something with just a finger and seem to contemplate letting go. I'm just waiting for you to take off...
Here is a video of you walking around the railing making all sorts of cute noises....

Your hair my little man, is SOOO out of control.... :) I just don't even know how to handle it, or fix it..... I wonder if I should cut it sometimes, but it is the cutest thing ever, so I leave it. But part of it is curly and part of it is straight, and there is just no order. Hehehehe.....I have to say it is the thing you get the most attention for!!! So...we were playing the other day and I tried to put your hair in a mowhawk. This is how it turned out...

I'm trying to get a picture of you in your new "sleeping state"....It is the cutest thing EVER. It's like you were sitting up and just leaned forward and put your head down on your feet. So you're sleeping, but sitting up still.... Oh my gosh it's so precious, but soooo doesn't look comfortable. Whatever!!! :) I WILL get that picture....I HAVE TO!!!

You are sleeping now but about to wake up soon, so I'll say goodbye for now, but I'll be writing more really soon!! I love you my little munchkin....You are my world...

Love, Mommy

Monday, February 18, 2008

TEN Months!!!

Hey honey,

Ok, so I'm 3 days late writing this. What can I's been a CRAZY week!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE TEN MONTHS OLD? Happy Birthday!!! Where is the time going? Seriously? I keep saying that every month, but now you are literally only TWO months away from being a year old and it just baffles me. Time has definitely never moved so quickly as it has since I have had you. And it just chokes me up.....I literally feel panicked at times when I see that you are growing so fast. I just want to freeze you right now. How could you possibly get any cuter? But then you do....and then I love you even more. Oh what fun there is to be had.... :)

You are seriously almost walking boo.... You hold on the the walls, the furniture, the railings, the dogs...anything you can find. You are becoming more brave, at times using only one finger to hold on to something as you reach and stretch for something else. I really think you could just let go, but you don't seem to trust yourself just yet. You'll get the hang of it soon....and trust me...I can wait!!! You're into so many things now as it is....I can't even imagine when you are walking around!!

You love to walk all over the place in your little walker. It's definitely your way of practicing, and you definitely have it down now! It's so cute how you get around.... You especially love to walk around the railing upstairs...and now you can cause your baby gate is successfully installed FINALLY!!! Thanks to Brian!! :)

I can't even begin to explain all the things that you get into and things you find amazing. Like I said seem to be something that is on hold right now. There are too many of "mommy's toys" that are much more interesting. I find you doing the funniest (sort of) things!! For instance.....this is what you like to do when I am trying to clean up your room or pick your clothes out for you...

This is what you like to do when I leave the room for 30 seconds..... there are about 50 of these kleenexes on the floor by the way.... you are FAST!

You really love to go into my room, open the top dresser of my nightstand, reach in and pull out anything you can and throw it on the floor. Over and over and over. You don't even look to see what it is....just grab it and throw it over your shoulder. It's the funniest thing, but so crazy too!! Not something I'm going to let you do much longer though...

You went to your first birthday party this week for your little friends Eli and Cooper a couple doors down. They turned two and had the sweetest little party with lots of little ones. You had your first little taste of frosting and you make the yuckiest face!! It was hilarious..... Not at ALL what I was expecting!! I mean, HELLO!! How could you have come from MY belly and NOT love sweets??? :) I'm sure that will change..... Here is a picture of your little buddies turning two...

You REALLY REALLY REALLY loved the balloons.......I cannot reiterate that enough. That was definitely the highlight of your day for sure.....

Your hand is much better.....I was finally able to take the bandages off and your blisters have come off too now....they look so sad, and it still makes me sad, but you seem completely oblivious so that is GREAT. I'm sure your fingers will be tender for awhile, but you will be just fine!! Thank GOD!!

Well my love, you're a busy man for 10 months and I'm so proud of everything that you have accomplished so far in your little life. You are one smart puppy! Ok, so it is after midnight and I'm so very sleepy.... Quit growing so fast and just know that every day I wake up and see your precious face is my favorite day ever. I love you with my life....

Love, Mommy

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Hello my funny little Valentine!

Will you be my Valentine Caden??? I love you sooooooo much and you are truly the most handsome thing I've ever laid my eyes on! You really, really are.....!!!!!!

Your Auntie Erica gave you the yummy sucker that you LOVED...and her mommy gave you the bib! She also gave you a GIANT Valentines Day Card. Woo hoo!! Your nana sent you a fun green ball that you absolutely adore, along with a fun little stuffed dog and a sweet, sweet Valentine's Day card. Your daddy was so sweet and gave me red tulips (my favorite) and a card from YOU that you let you color with a marker. How sweet was that? We are loved today, and that was nice after our lovely day yesterday! Thank you everyone for the texts, emails and goodies!! I love you baby, and I'm glad you're feeling better. Happy 1st Valentines Day!!!!

Love, Mommy

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

And The Winner of the "Worst Mom of the Day Award" goes to.....

My Dear Caden...

That would be me..... Oh my gosh what an awful day. I can't even begin to express the pain I went through today....right along with yours, and probably so much more. Because of me you got a second degree burn on your precious, precious, perfect little hand. I keep replaying that moment over and over in my mind. You woke up super early this morning for some reason. Six AM..... (What was up with that by the way?) Every time you go to bed late, you wake up earlier than normal. Doesn't make sense at all....I'm sticking with putting you to bed at 7.

ANYWAY....we went downstairs, I turned on the fireplace since it was FREEZING outside, and we proceeded to just play. I was building a little lego tower when I noticed that you were making a beeline for the fireplace. I jumped up and caught you JUST as your little hand touched the glass. I'll never, ever forget the look on your face and the howling that took place for 30 + minutes straight after that. I was TERRIFIED, and crying right along with you. I'm not sure who was crying harder. I ran to the kitchen, put your hand under the cold water and told you over and over how sorry I was. I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. This was definitely my hardest moment so far since you were born. I hated that you were hurting and I swear I would have traded about anything at that moment to make it stop. I couldn't call the pediatrician until they opened at 8am and by that time some pretty good size blisters were forming. It was KILLING me. I felt so awful. How could I be so stupid? Why did I turn that thing on? I should have known that he was so fast and this could happen!? Why did I not get to him fast enough? I'm supposed to protect you and I didn't. I'm so, so, sorry my little love.

We went to the doctor and they put some salve on your hand and wrapped the whole thing in a guaze bandage. You have to keep this on for about 5 days, and there will be some sensitivity for awhile, but you are going to be ok. By the time you got to the doctor you were just fine. You didn't seem to remember anymore about your hand...You were just back to your normal self trying to grab everything in sight. I, on the other hand, was still a basket case. I just couldn't seem to let it was just still so painful.

So there you were the rest of the day, truckin' around with a little bandaged hand.... It just makes me so sad to see but you are still as energetic as always and seem to be just FINE. Again, you are such a trooper. Forgive me for not being able to stop what happened. I love you so much and I promise hurt me more than it hurt you. Get better honey....I want to see that perfect little hand again soon.

Love, Mommy

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I Love the Accent!!

This video has been seen only a few million times, but I had to link to it just in case you haven't seen it. This pretty much sums up one of the many reasons why I want another baby.....

Charlie bit me!

As If I Don't Have ENOUGH On My Plate already??

So yeah....I'm already stressed to the max on a normal day...not in a particularly BAD way...just always sooo busy, and never having time to just sit down and relax, and now I'm about to experience the wonderful world of PUPPIES yet again! YEP! Oh yeah.... I couldn't afford to get Gabby fixed after the last batch, and so when Gabby went into heat, I seperated the two. I had put up a fence earlier in the year to keep the dogs off of most of the grass so that SOME could grow. It was a chicken wire type fence. Well DUMB ole me thought that this wonderful fence would do the trick just fine!! OH NO!!! Let me tell you....when a dog has his "mojo" running on full steam, there is alot that they can accomplish to get the deed done!! Even "hooking up" between the fence! Oh yes my friends! Isn't THAT just lovely??? I could have DIED.... SOOOOOO...... here I am now, just two months later, with a bitchy dog, that HATED the process the first time, about to pop any second. And when I say any second, I am seriously meaning ANY SECOND. She is moaning and growling at her belly.....Wow...I do remember a few times I wanted to growl at mine too! :) She is not a happy camper, and neither am I thinking about how much work it was the first go round..... Oh my GOSH I can't believe I have to do this again!!! This CANNOT and WILL not happen another time. Oh well.....We'll just have to make the best of it and enjoy those little cuties while we can. It will be cute to get some pictures with Caden. The first time he was only a few months old, so it was hard to do, but this time we should get some good shots. So if only for that, it may be worth it. :) I shot some video of Caden playing with the pregnant beast this morning. It's pretty cute. He loves to throw the ball over and over to Gabby...

Monday, February 11, 2008

What Can I Even Say?? :)

Hangin' On and Dotin' Mom

Hey little man of mine,

You are FINALLY asleep....naptimes have been a little more strained as of lately since all you want to do is stand up in your crib and throw things out. After two days of that you now have nothing in your crib.... :) I mean, you were pitching your pacifiers ACROSS the room. I have found one ON your changing table on the other side of the room. Goodness have an arm!!! So...our naptimes have consisted of me coming in your room about TEN times to lay you down and say... "It's nap time!" until you finally give up. Sheesh boy!! :) I have mentioned how you hold on to my dresser drawer for long periods of time while I get ready or am cleaning my room....... this doesn't last as long now though, you grab the walls and manuever yourself around the whole room. It's so pitifully cute.... I snapped a couple pictures of you holding on the the dresser the other day.

I’ve been reading some mom blogs recently to try to get a feel for what other mothers are putting out into cyber-land, and I have to say I’m a little disappointed. Some of the most popular blogs are really negative, moms just bitching about the rigors of child-rearing. Undoubtedly these women love the socks off their kids, but it seems they are writing for the audience, and I don’t really dig it. After all, one day their little person is going to look back and see a lot of griping. I guess it’s dreadfully uncool to dote and drool over your baby, but I’ve never been that cool anyway. I love writing about the best parts of all this wonder, and I'm not afraid to express how I truly feel.

I adore you. Absolutely, completely and totally adore you. I can’t imagine that the day will ever come when you are not my first thought in the morning and the last thought I have before I shut my eyes to go to sleep. I tell God “Thank You” all the time because in you He gave me the greatest, coolest, most joyful gift in all the world. People say all the time “They’re so cute at that age, you hate to see them grow up.” As much as I do feel that way, and I ache to see you growing so fast, I couldn’t disagree more. I can’t wait to watch you grow every day. You have become more and more fun with every day that passes, and I think the best is yet to come.

Hurry up and wake up so we can play!!

Love, Mommy

Sunday, February 10, 2008

My Precious Little Sleeper

Just thought I'd share some pictures I took of my little one sleeping.... My heart is completely and totally no longer mine. He holds all of it in his little sweet hands.....God I'm in love with this child.....

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Toys? What toys?


Hi my little boooooooooooo.....

You are just so funny. I swear, you have me laughing every day..and RUNNING around chasing you too!! Geez child! You are all OVER the place! It is amazing that one week I could sit you down on the floor, even leave the room for a minute, come back and find you relatively in the same place. The next week......HELLO!!! NOT EVEN CLOSE!! You are speedy crawler now and getting into EVERYTHING UNDER THE MOON! I didn't even REALIZE I had so many things for you to get into! I thought I was just fine and prepared for this...NOT! You could CARE LESS about toys at this point. These are the things that are MUCH more fun and interesting to you right now:

The stereo....oh how you love to open and close the tape decks and try to chase the digital words across the screen. Hours of endless fascination with this electrical "toy."

All of the cords under my desk....Oh BOY do you love THOSE! NOT a very safe place for you to hang out. If I had a penney...even just a PENNEY for all the times I've had to pull you out from under that desk of mine, we would be shopping at Gucci right now. :)

The fake ficus tree WAY in the corner of the room.....I swear its like you have a one track mind when you are wanting to get into something, and this is one of your favorites. I can put you on the OTHER side of the room and you are back to the tree in about 1.5 seconds. You love to grab the moss out of the bottom and attempt to taste it. My gosh child! I think I'm just going to have to take that out the room....its just WAY too much temptation for you. :)

Another favorite is all the little door stoppers behind the doors... You love to grab them and make them go "boooooing!" You do it over and over and over. It's hilarious. I've had to take all the little white caps off the ends cause you've already tried tasting those too.... :)

I keep some papers and things underneath some of the couches and the big ottoman. You love to lay down and try to pull things out from underneath there. I don't know what you big obsession is with finding hidden treasure or something! Oftentimes you'll grab something, pull it out and start shredding away. Not always good!!! You are my little paper shredder for sure... :)

Basically, anything that is NOT a toy is just way more interesting to you right now. Its too funny.. You are just into EVERYTHING. I mean EVERYTHING. I am definately more worn out now than at any other time since you were born! I think usually its the opposite for most mothers....they are so sleep deprived when the baby is born and then it gets easier. Opposite for me! Actually, things aren't hard though....they never have been with you. You're too perfect.....just more tiring, thats all. In a wonderful, exciting and new way!! I love you so much...

I feel like I haven't written in forever cause I've just been soooo busy and so stressed lately. You have not been feeling so great and its just been hard. It's been about 10 days now that you have been soooo congested. Constant nose running, coughing, trouble sleeping cause you can't breathe, and for 3 days now a fever of 102. My poor boo boo. Amidst all of this you are still happy as can be for the most part. You are just the trooperest trooper of all troopers!!!! I swear! No matter what the situation you are just a breeze. I thank my lucky stars all day. Most babies would be sooo whiny right now. Not you. :) Thank you for that. The doctor has you on some antibiotics...not because you are sick....its just teething....but because you are just so very congested. Your poor nose....always running and of course you HATE when I wipe about WHINY then!! You're always blowing little snot bubbles out of your nose, which you then delight in smearing across your hand and into your hair. Nice.

So for now I will snuggle with you and give you fluids and love all over you until you feel better. I will sing sweet songs to you and take cool baths with you. I will dance you across the living room floor and I will rock you in those rare moments when you aren't feeling well that you will let me. I'll put vapo rub on you and flush out your nose so you can breath better. All these things and more I will do for you every time you are sick, until you are well my precious, precious boy. Feel better soon....I'm ready to romp around with you again!!

Love, Mommy