Thursday, July 31, 2008

Becoming Uncle Joey!!!

Oh gosh little one, you are scaring me lately!! I thought I told you a million times not to be like your Uncle Joey and it is looking like you are not listening too well!!!!! I can't handle it if you follow his path of hospital visits every few months with broken bones time and time again, stitches over and over, pins, fake parts, etc...AHHHHHH!!!! From the time your Uncle Joey learned to walk he was well known at our local hospital. That boy had no fear or filter of danger....poor little fella! Well, you are mirroring those things already and you're not even two!!! Great. You think that you can just climb up on anything, jump off anything and you literally have no thought about it whatsoever. I REALLY have to watch your little booty these days. Lord give me strength!!! I caught one example this morning on video. I was in the kitchen washing some dishes when all the sudden your head popped up over the counter on the other side. I was like..."What the....?" You had climbed up on your highchair all by yourself and you were quite proud. I ran and grabbed my camera hoping you could do it again for my video, and sure enough I witnessed you climbing up. I NEVER would have thought you could do that. Boy, you are silly silly silly, and keep me on my toes all day long!!!
Please don't hurt yourself too much little one. I'm not sure my heart could take it.. I love you with my slow down!!! Love, MOMMY

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I Miss My Belly

I know it's crazy...and believe me, people tell me I'm crazy all the time, but I miss being pregnant.... I went to a kid's consignment sale this evening and was surrounded by pregnant women and it made me almost cry cause I missed that time!!

Most women I talk to hated being pregnant, couldn't wait til it was over and just wanted to get that baby out. My experience was just so different. Don't get me wrong, I had my moments here and there that weren't the easiest, and those last few weeks were tough. I was definitely ready to just have him outside... I remember being in tears a few times after I had tried everything to bring on his birth, walking, RUNNING, doing jumping jacks, eating Eggplant Parmesan...all the old "wives tale" things you hear. Nothing worked....he was LATE LATE!!! Even though I was almost insane at that point I still knew then that I was going to miss my belly and all the things that it had become for me. I had gotten to experience the miracle of a life inside of me.... I knew I would miss the anticipation I felt every day of his arrival. What was he going to look like? Was he going to have blue eyes? Brown? Green? Would he have any hair? How would it be like? Would it be love at first sight? Being pregnant humbled me in more ways than one and made me look at the world in a whole different way.... I wasn't the only one experiencing joys and hurts, and I wanted to reach out more than ever before. My belly made me more dependant on God and His love and forgiveness in my life....thank goodness that I have that.

God blessed me with an amazing pregnancy and birth....I couldn't have asked for a better one, and I feel that I grew, (in more ways that ONE! :) from that experience. Plus, I got the most amazing treasure from that pregnancy....a boy that I fall in love with more every day. What a miracle pregnancy is. It is nice to have a fairly flat tummy, but still.....I miss my belly..... (sigh)

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Tiffany and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Gosh I'm in a bad mood today. I shouldn't even be writing right now, but I guess I just need to vent a bit. I'm so so so so so so so so so sick and tired of doctors. I know I've said this before, and I feel like I shouldn't even complain cause there are SO many people that have it SOOOO much worse than me, but I feel sometimes like I just can't take it anymore. I've felt at the end of my rope for months now...I just want to give up letting them poke and prod me...I'm tired of the MRI's, Cat Scans, hospitals, needles, Spinal Taps, neurological tests, Surgery failures, pain and more pain, and all the waiting, waiting, waiting. When is this supposed to end???

I had my Spinal Tap 2 weeks ago and have waited and waited for the results. This was supposed to be the FINAL test to see if I had MS or not. I went today to see what those results were. My appointment was at 9:45am on the OTHER side of town, and I got there at 9:35. After waiting an hour in the waiting room with Caden, they finally took me back to a room where I waited another 45 minutes. Needless to say, I was NOT a happy camper. It is ALWAYS that way at this office and I just think it's ridiculous that they make people wait that long. Having a one year old with me that I had to entertain wasn't helping the situation. After waiting all that time, the doctor came in and said.... "Well, there are two strains that we look at in a Spinal Tap to determine if you have MS. If both strains are positive, then you have it, if both strains are negative then you don't. On your test, one is positive and one is negative. So....I'm not sure what the results are, and I want to send you to an MS specialist at Vanderbilt Hospital. I can't help you anymore." Are you KIDDING ME??? I've spent two weeks waiting, and half of my day ruined today for you to spend one minute with me telling me that you don't know what the test shows and that you want to send me somewhere else? Could you maybe have spared me the weeks spent worrying, the gas spent driving here, and my precious time wasted in this office and instead just picked up the phone and told me that????? No, you wanted your office visit pay, and another 25.00 copay from me.... I swear....the money spent this year in just Co-pays alone could pay for Caden's first year of college. What a waste...

My medical bills JUST this past year since last April have been 32,000.00 THIRTY TWO THOUSAND!! And no, that's not before what the insurance has paid. Caden's birth was 18,000.00 because it was not covered by insurance and the rest has been all of my surgeries, MRI's etc.... Awful, awful, awful. Talk about feeling weighted down in every direction!!

Gosh I shouldn't be posting this....I hate feeling sorry for myself...I hate feeling upset and frustrated....I try to remember how very blessed that I am, and that God has my life in control, and just to remember to give my worries, my pain and my hurts to HIM, but sometimes it's just hard. I'm just tired of hurting, tired of dealing with all this, and tired of my time wasted in having to do it. As of now, my next appointment is August 6th, where hopefully I will once and for all get some answers. Until then, I'm going to try and stop feeling sorry, be glad I don't have to go to a doctor until then, and remember the wonderful things and people that I have in my life that make it worth living.

Sorry for the bummer of a post....Just needed to get out some of my yuck.... Thanks for understanding.....

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, FOUR! :)

Ok, another Works for me Wednesday tip coming from me!! :)

For a super fast Baked Potato that tastes WONDERFUL, just take the poor potato, poke holes throughout it's little potato head and seal in a Ziploc bag. Put in the microwave for 3 -4 min depending on your micro and WHALA!!! (is that how you spell that?) Instant Baked Potato!!! Beats waiting for that darn hot oven, or dealing with boiling water!!

23 Pounds and Full of Energy!!

Hey munchkin,

Gosh I hate that I've gone a whole week without writing! It's just been so busy in our lives this summer. Some nights I can barely drag myself into bed much less write for awhile. I'm going to do better though...It's important to me for you to know what's going on in your little life and how much I love you through each stage! So, we had our 15 month appointment and you are officially 23 pounds and 31 inches tall! Exactly two pounds heavier and two inches taller than you were at 12 months. Growing and growing!! What fun it has been! You, little guy, may only be 23 pounds, but BOY do you have more energy than your mommy who is 126 pounds!!! GEEZ LOUISE!!! I am just amazed by you. You are non-stop around the clock.... :) You seriously do not sit still and you are always experimenting, becoming more and more daring, and doing some strange, strange things!! I followed you around today with the camera taking a few pictures to share about the quirky funny things you do. This is just in ONE day mind you! :) You love to "place" things in different places than they are originally intended. It's quite grab something, take off, and I can just see those wheels spinning trying to figure out where a good place for that item would be. Man I love you are too precious for words. Here are a few examples.... Yes, these are goggles stuck in the refrigerator door..... This is a "toy garden hoe" sticking out of my wine hutch...mmm hmm.... Um, this is the trashcan from my bathroom that I couldn't FIND when I went to throw something away...such a weird feeling... :) Anyway, after my hunt, I found it here in my bonus room up on your little piano balancing precariously....trash in it and all... LOVELY This is his little garden rake shoved next to the washing machine, which apparently is one of your favorite hiding places as we learned after hunting for the TV Remote for a couple weeks! So I have this shelf in my office with little baskets on it... And this is where I found a missing shoe..... I've mentioned many times how you like to throw things away, well this is one little car that breathed a sigh of relief! I laughed so hard when I saw this.... Needless to say, you keep me on my toes throughout the day and always keep me laughing. Never a dull moment with you my little one!! Thank you for making every day so very exciting and giving me a reason to wake up each and every morning. I literally miss you so much by the time I go to bed and can't wait to kiss your little face that next morning. You are loved, loved, loved!!! There is a little place here in Hendersonville that has a little water fountain area that kids go to play in...Your daddy and I took you there a couple days ago and you just absolutely loved it!! It was cute to see you just LOVE water now...I'm so glad!! Here are a few pics and a video!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Cheap Printer Ink!

Ok, so I am officially taking part in a fun blog thing every Wednesday. does something called "Works for me Wednesdays" where all the mommy bloggers give their helpful tips.

If you are like me, you go through plenty of printer ink and try to milk it as long as possible until you have to get a new cartridge since they charge you an ARM and a LEG for a cartridge! My gosh, they might as well ask for my firstborn! Sheesh! Well, at most Walgreens, you can take your empty ink cartridge in and they will refill it for TEN DOLLARS. Yes, you heard correctly! :) Beats 25 plus dollars! So far the quality has been great and my wallet is a little fatter...Nice!! So, next time you're low, don't cry too much, and take your booty to Walgreens! Hey, you can grab some fun candy while you're there.... Happy printing!!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

15 Months, My baby is 15 Months....

Holy Moly little one, you are FIFTEEN months old today!! I can hardly believe it. Every month I say I can't believe that you are older, but geez, you are really getting big!!

I'm so exhausted that this post won't be very long....sorry, your mommy can't be superwoman EVERYDAY! I just want you to think so! LOL Anyway, you are so full of energy, like never before, and just in to EVERYTHING.... Your daddy has nicknamed you the "Tasmanian Devil" and he is just so right on!! Hehehehe.... You are so fast, get into so many things, and leave a trail behind you. You act like some little guy on crack sometimes you are so wound up!! It makes me giggle just thinking of it now. How in the world do you have so much energy? A total stranger would think I just stuffed sugar down your throat all day long! And besides a fruit and the occasional yogurt, I DON'T!!! Man....all I can say is that you are wearing me out!! Whew! But I'm having a complaints here my love....everyday gets more and more fun with you.

Communication has gotten alot easier with you, and definitely more exciting. Although you still aren't talking except for the occasional "ball," "car," and "mama, dada," you definitely understand everything we say. Everything. You just get it, and you respond accordingly. I'm just waiting for the day that you will just start talking in full sentences. I sure wouldn't be surprised! You have mastered alot of the sign language I have taught you and know how to tell me what you want...when you are hungry, when you want more, when you want milk...etc.. It is so amazing to me!!! Gosh you fascinate me....I LOVE YOU!!!

You LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to be just can't get enough...and I'm glad about that, don't get my wrong, but's over the top!! I can't ALWAYS be outside with you munchkin, and when I need for us to go indoors you would think that I have KILLED YOU!! You roll up in a ball and just sob, sob, sob.... Could almost break my heart, but it just makes me laugh instead to think that something that small could be so big for you. You poor baby...if only you knew REAL stress....I hope that I can shield you from that for as long as I can. I don't ever want you to sob for a "real reason." God I hate the thought of that. Makes me feel bad for all the times I put my parents through that.... I've cried way too many times and that had to hurt them too... Let's not do that ok??

You love to step on everything.... toys, clothes, rocks, anything you can step on. It's like you think you're macho or something... :) More than that, you love to CLIMB things...and I mean LOVE. You'll climb on one of your push toys and just giggle so hard like you are the coolest. It just makes me laugh so hard...until I worry about you falling off. :) You are already becoming so independent!!

For the first time ever you have actually started "cuddling" and I am in heaven. After you afternoon nap, we cuddle on the couch watching your little show and you just lay on me and let me tickle your back. It is by far the favorite part of my whole day. Holding you is pure bliss, and I want to breath you in for as long as I can....

You eat like a horse, laugh like an angel, move like a bull in a china cabinet, and steal my heart every day. Thank you for making my life so worth living.....

I love you my fifteen monther...

Love, Mommy

Monday, July 14, 2008

My Little Water Bug!

Hi my little love,

Gosh I had fun with you today. Since you want to be outside ALLLLLLL the time, I set up your little kiddie pool out back,put some balls in it and we played in that darn thing all day... You seem to like that little pool better than the big one cause you can stand up and run around and get in and out on your own. You were too cute! I had so much fun splashing and swimming with you. You are getting tan little one! You are going to outdo me before long! I caught a few cute pics of you that I thought I would share. Sorry, but your naked booty is involved! You are a handful of wonderfulness.....

I love you,

Love, Mommy

Friday, July 11, 2008

Oh My Aching Back...

So today (Friday) was the day that I had to get another Spinal Tap done. Woo hoo! After I got my MRI a couple weeks ago, the Neurologist couldn't see much of a change from the one I had three months ago, which was GREAT, but he still didn't want to take any chances as my Aunt just was recently diagnosed with MS as well. Since both my dad AND Aunt have it, he was concerned that this disease was definitely familial, so he scheduled me for another Spinal Tap to rule it out. So today was the day.

I had this done 5 years ago and it was the worst, painful experience of my life. I was in an emergency room and the emergency doctor was attending to me. Well, according to the nurses and other people, he didn't do it correctly cause I could feel EVERYTHING. After he was done I couldn't stop sobbing for hours. So....knowing I needed to do that again terrified me. I've been used to being poked and prodded this past year, but I would rather have give birth ten times over than go through that again.

My amazing friend Erica picked me up this morning on her day off, and took me to the hospital to be by my side. That was sooo nice of her. She wasn't allowed to be in the room with me when they were doing the procedure, but she was there during my recovery. She was wonderful... So I told the doctor my experience and how scared I was, and he assured me that it would be nothing like it was before. He was was so much better. Don't get me wrong, it still hurt like the dickens when they numbed me up....basically it was an epidural, but after that I couldn't feel any of the four abstractions. Thank GOD. I was so glad when it was over.... I had to lay flat in the recovery room for two hours before they let me go, and have had to be flat the rest of the day. Gosh I hate just LAYING still all day! I'm about to lose my mind!!!

So, I'm sore, but feeling ok, and happy that it went much smoother than I anticipated. I'm not sure when I will know the results of the Tap, but I will keep everyone updated! Thank you for all your prayers!!!! I am one lucky girl to have such supported friends and family. I love you all........

Thursday, July 10, 2008

4th of July in Toto Land!

Hi monkey,

Whew!! We are back from Kansas where I was without a phone AND Internet. I hated not being able to write, but we had such a great time it was worth it. As always, we had lots and lots of laughs. It was soooo wonderful to see my Aunt JoAnn and my cousin Dawn and her girls Hayley and Hannah. I have wanted you to meet them so much! I've missed my Aunt so much.... My cousin Dawn is so beautiful and funny, and her girls are just ADORABLE. I enjoyed them so much....and so did you!! They were so good with you.... Your Nana Nana & Papa Papa were there as well...It was just nice to be around family. I'm envious of that they get to live so close to each other. I would give anything if I could live close to my family too. :(

Anyway, the reason we ended up in Kansas over the 4th was because your Nana needed to drive there from Nashville, and didn't know how to drive 10 hours on her own. She has always been bad about driving long distances. She needs a nap after an hour! :) So....I decided that we would drive her there and fly back a few days later. It was a great opportunity to see the rest of the family that you hadn't met yet. I was pretty nervous about driving that far with you in your "I don't want to sit still phase" but you did wonderfully.

My Aunt JoAnn's house is situated on 6 FLAT acres of Heaven.... It is so beautiful and was just so perfect for you. You could roam and roam and I didn't have to worry about you falling down on sloped driveways, or curbs, or running into the street. It was stress-free, that's for sure! I could have left you outside for 10 min at a time and known that you were perfectly fine playing. Made me wish our house was located in a place like that! Every waking moment you were up, you were outside.... You swam, played on the trampoline, explored the grass, threw rocks, sat on the tractor, rode on the riding lawn mower, and just plain had a good time. You were even part of a little 4th of July Parade! You were tuckered out at the end of each day for sure!

We spent a lot of time relaxing at the pool and getting some nice sun. It was just a nice few days. You were a total angel the entire time. I couldn't have asked for you to be any better. You even did fine on the plane ride home....and I swore I wouldn't take you on a plane for a lot longer..How did I get so lucky to have you?? I love you so stinkin' much!!! :)

Love, Mommy