So I haven't written for awhile....the longest I think I've gone since I started these leters when Caden was born. I guess I've been a little discouraged....and because of what other people were saying I was questioning the existence of this blog I started. I mean, will Caden ever really care that I wrote these things about him? Will he want to stop for a moment someday when he is older to read some of my words of love? Am I expressing things that are too personal about how I feel to my family and friends? I'ts caused me great angst, and I've missed writing on here, but I've just been "stuck" in a place of confusion and frustration that I couldn't quite get out of. Well, now I have decided what I'm going to do. I'm going to keep on writing....
People may disagree with things I do for the rest of my life, I hate that, but there is nothing I can do about it. I can't make everyone happy all the time right? There are those that may think I'm being to open about my feelings for my son, but you know what? I am not ashamed of my love for Caden, or for sharing it. I want the world to know how in love with him that I am. What is the shame of being personal in this world? Don't we need more of that? If only people would express more what they truly feel wouldn't this world be a better place? As far as him ever reading this someday, maybe he will, maybe he won't. And that's ok..... it's there for him if there ever comes a time where he might just need to remind himself how loved he is. I guess I also imagine that if for some awful reason that something were to happen to me, that he would have a piece of my heart to carry around forever.....that he would have no doubt in his mind how much his mommy loved him, cause the proof would be right there in front of his eyes, spilled out on paper with so much emotion and love. I need for him to have that.
So....with as much as I've struggled with keeping this blog alive and going, I'm not going to stop what I enjoy doing so much...talking about Caden. If people want to peek into our world and share my joys, then wonderful!! I welcome you with open arms....that's a part of why this is here. I need all the support I can get... So, starting tonight, I will officially be "back online" and blogging my heart out. I have much to share!!! Hope you all have missed hearing about Caden as much as I've missed writing about him!!!
5 comments:
Don't you EVER stop writing about our little man. I feel like I'm right there with you, sharing his growing days because of your words. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't know him as well as I feel I do. Thank you for letting me get to know your best friend. I love you both!!!
I love reading your blogs! They're so funny and sometimes they make me cry too. We love you two!!!
~H & B~
...I'm glad you're doing what you feel is right, I may not reply but I've kept all of your messages, they're really cute, it's who you are; they show who you are and how you see things, specially through Caden. Don't let others get you down with what they say, Caden knows and will always know you love him dearly and that's all that matters.
Thor
There is absolutely nothing wrong with showing love for your son. My guess is the person or persons who do not like your writings have little joy in their lives so the individual or l's does not want to see other people enjoy themselves. Keep showing your passion!!!
Randall
Blog away, sista! You know I love hearing about him. I hate that I don't get to see him every single day. I love him almost as much as you do. This is my way of keeping up with what's going on. They grow up too fast. I had no idea you were getting a hard time about this. WHATEVER.... I love it!
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