Thursday, July 24, 2008

Tiffany and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Gosh I'm in a bad mood today. I shouldn't even be writing right now, but I guess I just need to vent a bit. I'm so so so so so so so so so sick and tired of doctors. I know I've said this before, and I feel like I shouldn't even complain cause there are SO many people that have it SOOOO much worse than me, but I feel sometimes like I just can't take it anymore. I've felt at the end of my rope for months now...I just want to give up letting them poke and prod me...I'm tired of the MRI's, Cat Scans, hospitals, needles, Spinal Taps, neurological tests, Surgery failures, pain and more pain, and all the waiting, waiting, waiting. When is this supposed to end???

I had my Spinal Tap 2 weeks ago and have waited and waited for the results. This was supposed to be the FINAL test to see if I had MS or not. I went today to see what those results were. My appointment was at 9:45am on the OTHER side of town, and I got there at 9:35. After waiting an hour in the waiting room with Caden, they finally took me back to a room where I waited another 45 minutes. Needless to say, I was NOT a happy camper. It is ALWAYS that way at this office and I just think it's ridiculous that they make people wait that long. Having a one year old with me that I had to entertain wasn't helping the situation. After waiting all that time, the doctor came in and said.... "Well, there are two strains that we look at in a Spinal Tap to determine if you have MS. If both strains are positive, then you have it, if both strains are negative then you don't. On your test, one is positive and one is negative. So....I'm not sure what the results are, and I want to send you to an MS specialist at Vanderbilt Hospital. I can't help you anymore." Are you KIDDING ME??? I've spent two weeks waiting, and half of my day ruined today for you to spend one minute with me telling me that you don't know what the test shows and that you want to send me somewhere else? Could you maybe have spared me the weeks spent worrying, the gas spent driving here, and my precious time wasted in this office and instead just picked up the phone and told me that????? No, you wanted your office visit pay, and another 25.00 copay from me.... I swear....the money spent this year in just Co-pays alone could pay for Caden's first year of college. What a waste...

My medical bills JUST this past year since last April have been 32,000.00 THIRTY TWO THOUSAND!! And no, that's not before what the insurance has paid. Caden's birth was 18,000.00 because it was not covered by insurance and the rest has been all of my surgeries, MRI's etc.... Awful, awful, awful. Talk about feeling weighted down in every direction!!

Gosh I shouldn't be posting this....I hate feeling sorry for myself...I hate feeling upset and frustrated....I try to remember how very blessed that I am, and that God has my life in control, and just to remember to give my worries, my pain and my hurts to HIM, but sometimes it's just hard. I'm just tired of hurting, tired of dealing with all this, and tired of my time wasted in having to do it. As of now, my next appointment is August 6th, where hopefully I will once and for all get some answers. Until then, I'm going to try and stop feeling sorry, be glad I don't have to go to a doctor until then, and remember the wonderful things and people that I have in my life that make it worth living.

Sorry for the bummer of a post....Just needed to get out some of my yuck.... Thanks for understanding.....

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry Tiffany, I hope your day gets better...

Beth said...

We love you and are praying for you. I love the verse "I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me.....Philippians 4:13
I hope that encourages you.
Beth & Dad

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Tif. My heart goes out to you. You're in my prayers..

Amy Hale said...

I'm so sorry Tiffy, I am thinking of you and praying for you. You have been through more than anyone should go through in a year. I'll email and call shortly...
love you!

Anonymous said...

Tiffany,
I had no idea you were going through all this. I can so relate. I've been in your shoes since I was 39, almost 20 years with doctors and illness and wasted wasted time and money to rule out this and that.
You will come through this, I did and now I have to share with you and all others hurting. I found a product that I take 3 drops several times a day that controls my fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue pain, pre diabetes, restless legs and so much more. I just met someone with MS who a year ago the doctors said go home and make funeral plans. She was bed ridden, lost her sight and was dying. She was blessed to find these products and now she is driving and can see!!!! Beverly would be happy to talk with you and share her testimony. People with cancer have recovered and living productive lives. This stuff is truly a miracle. Please go to www.testimonyinfo.com and go to the M's to read about MS healings. I keep an extra supply on hand because I know after you read this you won't want to wait one second to get started. Not only will you begin to feel better but your product will be free eventually. You can go to mywaiora.com/629750 to research and order.Membership is only $30 and the discount on your first order will pay for it. This is a gift that will give you back your health and also a gift you can share with other hurting people. You should get on the NCD natural cellular defense and Agrigold right away. It's the best thing I ever did and anyone hurting and going through what you are going through will jump on this immediately. I know, when you hurt you will try everything till you have relief. The other thing I love is that it's drops. I was so sick of taking pills.
God's word "in all things give thanks" I say this daily because I would have never asked for what I have been through but if I can help just one person hurting it was worth it. I would never understand what you are going through except that I have already been through it. Call me anytime, love ya Be Blessed Patricia Copeland 615 889 8093 KW Mt. Juliet